Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Grown Ups 2 (Movie Review)

The best thing, worst thing, and main thing about Adam Sandler and company's sequel "Grown Ups 2" in about the time it takes to watch the trailer.



 Hey look, it’s a bunch of actors who can be funny, finding a way to not be funny... at all... like even a little bit.
Grown Ups 2 brings back Adam Sandler, Kevin James, David Spade, and Chris Rock as four friends who find themselves facing the perils of adulthood as they attempt to, I don’t know, do stuff? Seriously, there is no plot here. I mean there is something about David Spade’s character having a son he didn’t know about, and Kevin James’ kid being really really dumb, but honestly I’m pretty sure this movie is simply an excuse for Sandler and his crew to throw in as many bodily function and sex jokes into a movie as possible. I mean, if I’m understanding the meaning of the last scene correctly, this movie was about the quest of four men to successfully execute a burp snart. That would be a consecutive burp, sneeze, and fart. Welcome to Grown Ups 2.
Now, please don’t misunderstand, I’ve liked all of these guys in other stuff, they actually can be very funny dudes. But that aren’t here...at all. Nor are any of the seemingly thousands of bit part cameos Sandler throws at the screen, which is what makes finding a best thing about this movie almost impossible. I thought about doing the classic, the best thing about the movie was that it ended bit, but I really do try and find something about every movie I see that I enjoyed, so I’ll give it a shot. Let’s see, I kinda liked Taylor Lautner’s ninja skills, but that wasn’t so much for his acting as the fact that I’m pretty sure it was really him doing all those flips and kicks without a double! Did I miss something? Is Taylor Lautner a professional gymnast or something? But the best part for me was the 80’s costume party at the end, not that it was a great scene, it was just as awful as the rest of the movie, but the costumes were great and identifying who people were dressed up as at the party was at least a pleasant distraction as I waited for the sweet release of the end credits.
Now worst thing? Can I just say “everything else”? I mean, Where do I start? The acting, the writing, the score, the effects, the lack of plot, all awful. In fact, the movie was so bad I wanted to fire up a level of Candy Crush on my phone... not just because I was bored... but because I was hoping someone from the theater would kick me out so the pain would stop. But the real culprit here, and therefore my worst thing, is The Jr. High Humor. Look, if you thought it was funny in the preview when the moose urinated all over Sandler then you’re in luck, cause it’s nothing but that kind of humor for 100 minutes straight.
Grown Ups 2 is a sequel that should have never existed in the first place. It’s a crass, confusing, shoddy mess of a movie with jokes that not only aren’t funny but are genuinely awkward and painful. Maybe if you share a sense of humor with the two 9 year old boys who sat down the row from me and laughed every time someone said poop you’ll be in heaven. For most, I imagine it will feel like an eternity in a different location. I give it a generous D-.
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