Monday, August 26, 2013

Paranoia (Your Movie Friend Review)

The best thing, worst thing, and main thing about the techno "thriller" Paranoia in about the time it takes to watch the trailer.

 

REVIEW TEXT

My older brother gets to play Thor, and I’m stuck with this?
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“Paranoia” is a would be technology thriller from the always life or death world of cellphone design. It stars Liam Hemsworth as a tech mogul wannabe and how he navigates his time being used as a pawn by the ceos of competing companies. There is of course a romantic relationship that develops and a friend that feels betrayed, and blah blah, another cliched plot device, blah blah blah. Let’s just cut to the point shall we. This is a horrible movie. Not in the same eye rolling way that many movies are, but in the way that there is so little that is even vaguely interesting going on here. At least with most bad movies there is stuff to make fun of, this is like watching a blank sheet of paper. This is a thriller with zero thrill.
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If I had to squeeze a positive out of this, and it hurts to call it a “best thing” it would be that even though I had no idea really what any of those phones they were designing did, I wanted to play with one. I mean the one phone was flexible! How cool would that be!? :sigh: I guess I could also give minor props to Oldman acting and Hemsworth’s charm, though I can’t be sure they were actually good or if everyone around them was just so boring and awful that they seemed to be. But what about Harrison Ford? He’s good right? :shaking head:
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No, sorry, this is a rough go for Ford in this, as he feels like more of a parody of himself channeling that supercut of all his angry yelling scenes floating around YouTube. He’s not alone though as everyone (again with maybe the exception of Oldman and Hemsworth) feels like they are sleepwalking through this. In fact the whole thing is an exercise is banality, The plot is boring, there is no reason to care about any of the relationships, and there just don’t feel like there are any stakes, at all. You’re never quite sure why these phones are important and even though its insinuated, you never feel like anyone is in danger. It all adds up to a movie I’d honestly rather not spend any more words talking about.
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So I won’t. It’s an F.
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