Friday, September 6, 2013

Getaway (Your Movie Friend Review)

The best thing, worst thing, and main thing about the Ethan Hawke thriller "Getaway" in about the time it takes to watch the trailer.

 

REVIEW TEXT

 Remember Gattaca?... I think Ethan Hawke was really good in Gattaca… Yeah, I want to watch Gattaca...
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“Getaway” stars Ethan Hawke as a disgraced race car driver forced to use his skills by a mysterious voice who is apparently behind kidnapping his wife. He is eventually joined on the ride by Selena Gomez who may or may not play a larger role than he knows. Since this movie is the literal definition of the phrase “cut to the chase” I will follow suit and let you know immediately this movie is really bad. It’s like someone who really likes car crashes said, hey lets make a movie with a bunch of those. and then someone else at the table said, Well, what should the story be about. and he replied, story? did I even mention story? MORE CRASHES!
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Though as for that, I have to say, the crashes are pretty spectacular. They are the best thing about the movie even if it does get a bit mind numbing just 20 minutes in. It’s entertaining in the same way playing with matchbox cars was entertaining when your were four and just kept crashing the fronts of the cars together and making crashing noises. Other than that the movie fails in just about every way.
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The acting is bad, which is strange because I usually dig Ethan Hawke even when he is in a poor movie, (The Purge and Sinister come to mind) but here nothing about what he does feels real, and Selenas no better. Of course it could be the script, which pretty much consists of Jon Voight yelling commands through a phone. Or it could be the humor, of which there isn’t any. But the worst thing? The worst thing is how ridiculous the premise of this movie is. Nothing about the way this movie works is even remotely possible. There is a difference between suspension of disbelief and suspension of reality and you would have to do the second to have this movie make sense at all. Driving at high speeds this mysterious voice directs him to make adjustments to course and accomplish tasks without any forethought. TURN RIGHT, DRIVE DOWN THE STAIRS, NOW RUN INTO THAT FRUIT CART KNOCKING ONE APPLE INTO THE AIR SO THAT IT LANDS ON THE HEAD OF THE MAN IN THE GREEN SWEATER. Ok I may have made that last one up, but not by much. The whole premise is just preposterous. Is there a stronger word than preposterous? Ludicrous? Asinine? That’s how bad this movie is it’s makes me want words added to the dictionary so I can fully describe it. Point being the movie is based on such ridiculousness that it makes it impossible to take any of it seriously.
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Overall, If you want to see some cool crashes Getaway might be for you.. or you could go to your local fair and watch the demolition derby… You’ll probably see more story and better acting there anyway. Getaway is a D
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