Thursday, June 26, 2008

Rosebud and the Death of the Spoiler

Well it’s official! My wife and I finished Season 6 of “24”, Fox’s amazing real-time counter-terrorism action drama. This is one of the greatest modern show’s of all time. If you’ve never watched it, I suggest you Netflix Season 1 and enjoy the ride. To quote a local race track slogan, “We’ll sell you the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge!”

I’m behind the times. I know that. Some of you are mocking me even as you read this. You are saying cruel things like, “You are so behind, man.” and “Hey, Mister Behindy-Pants.” And even the painful, “Would you like some Pop Rocks in your Classic Coke, Mister 8-Track player, Behindy-Parachute-Pants!”

And although I may not be completely caught up with every current show (I watched the first episode of “Lost” 2 weeks ago) I AM NOT ALONE!

With TV shows being released on DVD, and hundreds of hours of TiVo capacity, and now the revolution of watching shows and movies online, it’s time to end the madness. I’m beggin’ ya!

You see, I’ve learned that the watercooler is no longer safe. You can’t assume I watched last night’s episode of [Plug in your favorite show title here]!

Maybe I recorded it.

Maybe I missed it, and I plan to watch it online.

Maybe I wait to buy the season of “24” on DVD so I don’t have to wait until next week to find out how Jack will escape and find another needle-in-the-haystack lead to catching the terrorist, and yet somehow have a near-miss with that elusive thing called love!

I’ll admit, I had plenty of time. But I watched “Citizen Kane” with Orson Wells for the first time 3 or 4 years ago. Granted, it’s been out since 1941, but give me some time. Our world isn’t limited to 8:00pm on 3 networks anymore. Cut me some slack.

Officially, here and now, I am calling for the Death of the Spoiler.

Here’s what I need to make it happen:

1) Morning News Shows . . . Stop telling me what happened on last nights episode. You’re ticking me off before I’ve had my coffee.

2) People . . . When you call right after a show to talk about it, don’t let the first thing out of your mouth be, “What did you think about the Colts throwing away the game in the 4th quarter?” Buck Rogers and I paused live TV, and we’re not done with the game yet!

3) Finally . . . Buy a sled for your kids, will ya! You’ll never know what it might mean to them.

--Andy